by Clockwork Carruthers
Feb. 23, 2006
JACKSON, MS-- Every February 23rd, families celebrate their pet dogs on a controversial holiday known as 'Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day'. On this holiday, owners give their pet dogs a biscuit to their best friends to show their appreciation for their companionship. As innocent as this holiday sounds, it has caused quite a stir in the feline community. Rioters have been heard chanting "where's our biscuits?" while some held up sorry excuses for signs.
Tommy Tabbin, 36 (cat years), had a few words about the matter. "This holiday is [expletive] misleading. It makes you believe that a dog i getting some kind of special treatment on this day by receiving a single biscuit, while you and me both know that those [expletive] get them every day while us cats suffer through the same [expletive] cylindrical container of Pounce that we've been 'happily' shoving down our [expletive] kitty throats.
Some cats were restrained during the incident which the feline community considered cruel and unusual.
Many believe that this rally was all started by the founder of the SFC (socialist feline commitee), who has been in hiding for the past year and a half. During his absence, he is believed to still have had plenty of influence on his followers as the kingpin of this movement.
Cuddles McGrath has been the leader of the Southeast anti-K9 movement since 1999. He founded the SFC in 2003. In 2004 he was acquitted of catslaughter, but is now wanted in three states for disturbing the peace.
Most cats don't even care about McGrath's manipulation as proved by this Tabbin comment, "we're all his pawns and we know it. But he has a worthy cause, and we all believe in him. We will do all we can to further this movement against K-9s, and possibly die doing so. We're all expendable if it's for the greater good."