by Clockwork Carruthers
March 9, 2006
For Jon Smoltz's 2006 MLB fantasy baseball team, he made a daring move in not drafting himself this year, claiming that he feels that he is losing the capability of producing the numbers he has had in the past. Smoltz stated that he had taken the advice of Brandon Funston who wrote, "admittedly, fear age or health may bite in '06."
"Funston does have eight years experience as ESPN's fantasy expert, so it's not like I'm just going to ignore what the man has to say," spoke Smoltz, "I just had to swallow my pride this year and pick a younger Mark Buehrle who is on a team who can muster more W's for him. Last year was a fluke, my inning total was just silly and I don't think I can't handle that workload much longer. Plus the Braves suck in the playoffs. I mean we make 'em, but we just suck at 'em."
Minnesota Twins utility infielder Terry Tiffee was distraught when he heard what Smoltz had to say. Tiffee boldy claimed, "I may be in lowest O-Rank of the Yahoo! rankings this year (959), but that doesn't mean I am not going to pick myself every year. I am a baseball player damnit and I like to cheer for myself when I play. When my playing on the field suffers, my fantasy team suffers with me. Smoltz, you are nothing but a coward!" Smoltz had no response to Tiffee's comments.