by Dillon Farnum
March 10, 2006
Now just what is morning television teaching our children? It is easy for us parents to just turn on the television every time we need a break from our children. For a good 4 hours a day they can be hypnotized by the television filling their minds with all sorts of information (whether it be educational or not).
The youth of the early 90's were raised on at least some educational programming, especially in the areas of science. The children all loved it when Beakman would disgrace and embarass Lester the Rat in front of Dottie or Liza. They also love it when Bill Nye teaches them about water displacement or centripetal force. We can't leave out animal experts such as Jack Hanna and Steve Irwin. All of these personalities have brought education into the foreground of television entertainment.
A show only seen by the earliest of early-bird children, Mr. Wizard was the show that got the most into the brass balls of science. He taught physics, chemistry, and occasionally biology to impressionable minds while they ate their cereal in front of the tube every morning before school...even before their parents were awake. Could he have taught children something that a parent would hesitate to allow their child to know? At this time in the morning, you can say pretty much anything and get away with it.
At a recent exclusive telephone interview with former serial bomber Tod Larivee, he told me a few things about how he got into bombs.
TL: ...yeah Mr. Wizard. That guy knew everything. I remember waking up before everyone else in the morning, and watching this guy for a half hour every day. Like most kids at that time, Nickelodeon was the only channel I ever watched. You get Nick early enough, you get to learn some cool shit. I distinctly remember this one episode in which Mr. Wizard made a volcano erupt by mixing baking soda and vinegar. I tried it out myself but I put in so much baking soda that it exploded and made a hole in the ceiling. You can guess where that led to. You can guess the things that were in my head! Here I am now in prison, a convicted felon! You wouldn't last ten minutes in my world Farnum!...[click]