by Johnny Guatemala
July 17, 2006
ROCKFORD, IL-- Researchers discovered Sunday that office receptionist Amy Clark has developed to become a completely functional and average human female with normal desires and ambitions that will most definitely threaten the hegemonic canopy of female-based marketing that desirous advertising executives wish not to be disturbed.
by Johnny Guatemala
June 2, 2006
COLUMBUS-- Columbus Zoo wildlife advocate and animal celebrity Jack Hanna was confronted by a group of several family members and friends at his Delaware County ranch over the issue of his frequently distracting haircut.
by Johnny Guatemala
May 8, 2006
RIBBINGTON UK- Local bed and breakfast owner Thurston Cavendish and his wife, Glenda, have unleashed another British culinary disaster upon an unsuspecting tourist populace.
by Johnny Guatemala
March 15, 2006
The baseball world was saddened to hear of the death of Minnesota Twins outfielder and Baseball Hall of Famer Kirby Puckett. However, it should be noted that pieces of the Gold Glove-winning center fielder are alive and well in other people.
by Johnny Guatemala
March 11, 2006
BOISE ID-- Delbert McFadden unwittingly swallowed a chance to get out of his Ore-Ida factory job while watching Final Destination 3 at the Boise Multiplex Theater on Saturday night.
by Johnny Guatemala
March 9, 2006
WASHINGTON DC-- Milton-Bradley, the maker of popular board game Guess Who?, is being sued by the National Organization of Women for discrimination over the disproportionately small number of women in the popular children's game.
by Johnny Guatemala
Feb. 23, 2006
by Johnny Guatemala
Feb. 21, 2006
AKRON-- Akron University junior Adam Leeshing dropped a bomb on relationship fidelity Thursday evening when he proposed his concept of "diplomatic sex immunity" at a symposium that packed the John S. Knight Center. Hundreds of interested, and nubile, youths filled the seats and listened eagerly to Leeshing as he outlined his theory.
by Johnny Guatemala
Feb. 12, 2006
WINSTON-SALEM, N.C.-- The Old Glory Flag Manufacturing Co. will be shifting its production focus to Middle Eastern markets starting as early as January, company officials say.
by Johnny Guatemala
Feb. 1, 2006
TOLEDO, OH-- Local waste of life and die-hard Urban Cowboy fan Jack Ray was killed in a grisly car accident after driving inebriated across lanes of Route 23 and plowing head-on into another vehicle, killing its driver.
by Johnny Guatemala
Jan. 21, 2006
Recently, I read this on a BK cup: