by Telemachus Gaffiganiakis
March 30, 2008
A Washington State University study in the recent edition of the Journal of American Research in Science (JARS) reports that the potato chip, Pringles, is now considered more addictive than tobacco.
by Telemachus Gaffiganiakis
March 2, 2008
Radio station WQXQ 103.9 FM in Boise, Idaho recently spent an entire day playing Timbaland featuring One Republic’s song, “Apologize” over and over again. The commercial-free event allowed the song to play 470 times in a row to eager listeners.
by Telemachus Gaffiganiakis
Jan. 27, 2008
Darren LaChappelle, a former employee in the marketing department for Facebook, the online community of endless requests and invitations, overblown profile add-ons, and photos that could get you fired from your job, has released a statement that the website was created with the sole intention of allowing individuals to be able to commit identity fraud.
by Telemachus Gaffiganiakis
Nov. 4, 2007
Singer-songwriter Carly Simon admitted to an interviewer that the mysterious individual that is the subject of her song, “You’re So Vain” is comedian and former Full House actor Dave Coulier. “I let it slip in the interview,” said Simon. “I’ve just destroyed one of music’s greatest debates.”
by Telemachus Gaffiganiakis
Sept. 21, 2007
FAYETTEVILLE, AR-- Fayetteville Recreation's "Hail Mary" flag football league has been rocked by controversy after one of its players, wide receiver Kirk Darkleroad, was implicated after the raid of a laboratory in Florida that supplied human growth hormone to various athletes.
by Telemachus Gaffiganiakis
Aug. 27, 2007
The National Association of Comedy and Humor-Oriented Matters (NACHUM) announced yesterday that jokes about Maury Povich and his television show, Maury, are now banned. No person, through stand-up, sketch, or even normal every day conversation is allowed to reference the man and his talk show in a comedic manner.
by Telemachus Gaffiganiakis
Aug. 12, 2007
OSHKOSH, WI-- Last night, noted Women’s Studies professor Jayne LaFontaine lectured on “Jessie Spano and the Cultivation of Generation Y’s Perspectives on Feminism” to a group of faculty, students, and citizens in Oshkosh as part of the university’s lecture series for incoming freshmen.
by Telemachus Gaffiganiakis
June 28, 2007
BUENOS AIRES-- Jorge Gonzales, better known to fans of the former World Wrestling Federation as "Giant Gonzalez," was found alive in his home in El Colorado, Formosa, Argentina yesterday.
by Telemachus Gaffiganiakis
Feb. 10, 2007
BOSTON-- A financial analyst has filed a lawsuit against Internet giant Google alleging that the company inappropriately used her name on the main page for their e-mail service, Gmail.
by Telemachus Gaffiganiakis
Dec. 17, 2006
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) alleged in a statement yesterday that recent E.Coli outbreaks in a wide variety of fresh vegetables are actually the responsibility of the beef industry.
by Telemachus Gaffiganiakis
Sept. 30, 2006
PHILADELPHIA-- Miss Kimberly Leeves's first-grade classroom in suburban Philadelphia has been rocked by controversy after Miss Leeves confiscated a Crayola Indian Red crayon from six-year old Billy Whitehead.
by Telemachus Gaffiganiakis
Sept. 22, 2006
SAGINAW, MI-- Brent Caftan, 15, was sent to the hospital yesterday after suffering a seizure while watching The All-American Rejects video, “Move Along,” on Yahoo! Music. Caftan was not prone to seizure spells, and only suffered one previously while watching an episode of The Montel Williams Show with his mother after school when he was 11.
by Telemachus Gaffiganiakis
Sept. 3, 2006
LONDON-- American bodybuilder Dennis Korell shocked patrons at The Origin of Species Pub in the West End of London when he ordered a Zima.
by Telemachus Gaffiganiakis
Aug. 31, 2006
Actor Richard Kline, best known for playing the goofy yet hilarious scumbucket Larry Dallas on Three's Company, put aside rumors that he and fitness guru Gilad Janklowicz are one in the same person in an exclusive interview with The Underground Nincompoop. "I am not Gilad," Kline said, "though looking at the shape he's in, I'd certainly love to be!"
Telemachus Gaffiganiakis
Aug. 25, 2006
Little people and underdogs across the world are reacting with melancholy over yesterday's announcement in Prague that Pluto will go from becoming a planet to a lesser known, little respected "dwarf planet." The relegation has drawn ire from fans of Pluto who are both perplexed and offended by the move.
by Telemachus Gaffiganiakis
Aug. 21, 2006
On the popular syndicated television programme, Cheaters, host Joey Greco ensures that if viewers wish to meet faithful singles in their area, they should log in at nocheatersdate.com. While the site may be one of thousands of dating sites on the Internet, no one at the Dallas-based television show ever expected a man like Diego Yzaga to come along.
by Telemachus Gaffiganiakis
Aug. 4, 2006
John W. Scherer, the self-proclaimed “Video Professor” who you have most likely seen in advertisements at 2 A.M. while drunkenly watching Blind Date, will now be releasing a new CD-ROM and DVD to help out the computer illiterate. Advertisements for “How to Download Internet Porn for Free” will begin in September.
by Telemachus Gaffiganiakis
July 29, 2006
Johnson, the lackadaisical cubicle whore from Kellogg's Raisin Bran Crunch commercials, will be taking an indefinite leave of absence from his duties (or lack thereof) in white collar America after suffering numerous injuries after eating the cereal.