June 6, 2006
TAMPA-- Local couple Kyle and Maxine Kakos wished for a movie night, what they got was a reality check. Upon scanning the rental of Gigli at their local movie rental store, the manager ran quickly out of his office to shake the hands of the first couple to ever rent the movie at the store. Since the establishment had acquired the movie after it's release in 2003, not one patron had decided to partake.
"I was quite shocked to see that someone rented it. Some people I guess don't read reviews. The only reason we had it in our store was because of an inventory malfunction. Kyle came in and asked for the movie, we checked the computers and it just happened there," claimed manager Bill Higgins.
Hidden amongst the comedy section of movies, the lone copy of Gigli seemed suspicious to passers by.
Officer Nolan Scripture of the Tampa police thinks he knew why the malfunction occurred. "We had seen Ben Affleck sneaking around the back rooms of movie stores and blockbusters. I guess he had been placing Gigli copies into back rooms of stores that had gotten rid of the movie."
When asked about the situation, these were Affleck's comments:
"...Huh? No I haven't been smokin' pot. Seriously dude that's f#$%@d, you think I did that shit? I oughta call Matt on your ass. I went to private acting school, I deserve more respect than this. I don't know why people hated this movie anyways, J-Lo is dec. Martin Brest isn't a TERRIBLE writer, I think he did like scent of the woman or some shit like that *farts*. I'm from Boston, I don't need to take this shit...I'm gone bitch. PEACE!"
After watching the movie, Maxine decided she did not like the movie because it "insisted upon itself" and was "sultry and beguiling."