by Sarge
July 26, 2006
And I thought master hated me. HOT DOG was I wrong! Every dog has his day, and this one is mine! I can now enjoy the dog days of summer AND fall! I figured, If I'm going to keep my hind-quarters warm, why not do it in style? I've been sick as a dog waiting for this doggone cable-knit to come in for at least half of Autumn.
And all this time, I thought I was in the dog house with my master for sure! He'd take me on these rediculously long walks when I had to go "hurry hurry," listening to three dog night on his black ipod nano (hanging from a pathetic necklace), and by the end of walkies my pups would be killin' me! Master doesn't even have the decency to pick up my shit when I'm done. So help me Dog, Clean my poop!
But I digress. Master has certainly been back on my good side since he bought me this new B.U.M. Equipment cable-knit-sweater for my third birthday (human years), but then again even the sun shines on a dog's ass (alluding to Rasheed Wallace's statement after the Pistons lost Game 4 of their playoff game against the Cavaliers, despite a Wallace 'Guaransheed' game 4 victory). Lebron fakes, takes a quadruple dog-leg left, throws it up, GONE TO THE DOGS!!!
I guess my main reason for all of this excitement for my new cable-knit-sweater, is mainly because lately it has become a dog eat dog world as far as K-9 fashion is concerned. I have to look the best for my next show...not that I'll win, but it's the bark not the bite that counts and I should at least try. Plus there's some hot bitches there that'll give any dog a bone.
With my new B.U.M. Equipment cable-knit-sweater, I'll be hangin' with the big dogs now. So I guess in conclusion, just let sleeping dogs lie and always remember; you CAN teach a young dog new mark-ass tricks and trick-ass marks, and I triple dog dare you to do the same!"