by Ardent Needle Cousin, Gilded Rose Foundation
Nov. 19, 2006
Relax. We need some information first. Just the basic facts, can you show me where it hurts?
If I had to wager a guess, I'd say it was that unsightly, gaping wound from when our operative, Bruno, shoved a gardening trowl through your cheek. And you had to go ahead and kill him, didn't you? You've killed a fine craftsman, Agent Dever. Kudos. We'll never find another Bruno again. And I'm afraid that no one will find you now, either. But this is the life we live, eh?
Now, this is where I come in. Let's have the sodium pentothal do its work, shall we?
O.K. It's just a little pin prick. There'll be no more AAA-AAA-AARGH! But you may feel a little sick.
Good. Now while the serum wears down your resistance, I'm going to mess with you, because it's obvious from my appearance that I enjoy sadism. Let's start off playfully, shall we? Why don't I just plug in my theremin and warm the old girl up?
WOOO-ooo-WOOO-ooo-WOOO...
I do rather enjoy that sonic mess. Waving my hands about, mimicking soundtracks from 1950's science fiction movies, and watching you squirm to its otherwordly presence in your weakened state. What's the matter, Dever? Your brain can't handle low levels of pet euthanasia drugs? I can make it all go away.
NOW TALK!!!
Who ordered the hit on the Burmese military attache? Was it Cooper's Hawk? I want to know who approved that contract! Don't tell me rebels did this...they can't get their hands on the Dupchek R-7Z. Maybe a Dragunov or an M40 from the Saudis. Hell, any street urchin can get one. But not the Dupchek. How else could you get that range and accuracy? You shot him through the rear window vent, when an open window shot would have sufficed.
You were just showing off, Dever. Once again, kudos. I'm sure your father would be proud, if he weren't floating in the Black Sea after an "apparent" hot-air ballooning accident.
Now, now. Trying to lunge at me is useless. You're quite restrained. Where are my kudos? It used to be about the craftsmanship, not about revenge and who killed who's father. But the younger generation will have its way...so I guess the professional courtesy goes by the wayside.
That said, I do believe Dr. Khan should be here any moment. He has the most bizarre and delightful implements! My. I've wasted quite a bit of time with all this idle chit-chat. Not enough preparation. Afterall, you do have to tenderize the meat before it gets to the butcher. Let's try some waterboarding in that old horse trough. You Yanks are quite familiar with it by now.
GLURG, GLURG, GLURG
Last chance, Agent Dever. Anything to tell me? I've got a lovely cyanide pill with your name on it, if only you tell me what I want to know. No? Very well. Give my regards to Dr. Khan. Now, I must be off. I'm already late for my date at TCBY with that fetching librarian from the archives.